When it rains it pours and lately I’m soaking wet. I cannot seem to get out from under this black cloud but perhaps if I just hang in there I’ll see that, indeed, every cloud has a silver lining.
If it’s not one thing it’s another and sometimes I try everything in my power to do what’s right, where my family is concerned, but a house divided against itself cannot stand. I bend over backwards, biting off more than I can chew, while at the same time biting my tongue, I find myself between a rock and a hard place because the person I’ve been communicating with is, a loose cannon. I have been drawn into a web of lies forgetting that a leopard can’t change its spots, I go out on a limb, going the extra mile only to find this particular leopard may have cried wolf, once again.
I feel like I’m fighting against the clock. Always the Good Samaritan I try to keep my chin up and avoid a knee jerk reaction because the welfare of one of the apples of my eye is at stake.
Since blood is thicker than water and a person very dear to me is at the heart of this situation my gut feeling is telling me that not everything I’ve been told, by the leopard, is the truth. However, being the doubting Thomas that I am and also trying to remain impartial until I know the whole truth, I cannot turn a blind eye to the fact that my loved one has a huge chip on her shoulder, and therefore, is not off the hook completely when it comes to the truth, either. My inclination is to believe her. I want to believe the best about her, to not be barking up the wrong tree.
Okay, I’ve learned some interesting little tidbits recently, now what do I do? In this scenario I am not the new kid on the block and it’s time to get down to brass tacks. Make no bones about it; the time has come to level the playing field. I am tired of being on pins and needles every time the phone rings. The phone, an inanimate object, has become my worst enemy. When it rings I could cross my fingers (if I was the superstitious type) or in my case say a quick prayer that it isn’t the leopard ready to throw everything but the kitchen sink at me. I can no longer subject myself to the angst this person creates in my life so where she is concerned, Elvis has left the building!
I have made a decision; I want to be off the hook. My flesh and blood knows I am here for her, as her granddad is also and now I have to get over it.
Moving on is not so easy but with God I can do it. I wish I could say without a doubt that everything will turn out the way I hope but only God knows the outcome of this drama.
Father, God of all creation, the one who made us in His image, to you is all glory, honor and praise. You alone are holy and worthy of praise. Thank you for your goodness and mercy shown to us everyday. This earth is an ugly place at times but Lord the beauty of your creation overshadows any ugliness that man creates. Never will I forget the cross and what Jesus did for me. The agony of his crucifixion is beyond what he should have had to bear and yet he died an excruciating death so that I and anyone who calls upon him can be with him in eternity.
I would ask Father that the two people living in the midst of this difficulty would somehow find a way to truly love each other, the way a mother and daughter should. If I could snap my fingers and make it all right, I’d do it in an instant but it isn’t up to me. That has been the hardest part of this ordeal to grasp. When it comes to those I love my tendency is to try to fix everything, as if you didn’t know this Lord, and I know that’s not the way it works. I have faith, that you Lord God in your infinite wisdom, have the answer but whether or not I will see the result is not for me to say. I pray You would continue to bless my family in ways to numerous to count and watch over those too young to fend for themselves. Once again I seek Your forgiveness for the sin in my life, be it in thought, mind or deed. Renew a clean spirit in me. I ask this in the name of the one who died for me, Jesus the Christ. AMEN
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