No White Flags

December 15, 2011

There are days when I should just stay in bed, this was one of them. Unfortunately, that isn't even a possibility right now.  Pause

December 18, 2011

The past couple of days have been very trying for several reasons none with which I will bore you. I was simply unable to focus on one thing long enough to post anything, however, I didn't want to go too long without journaling an update.

Keith is doing pretty well, all things considered. He suffered none of the nausea for which I am so grateful as I'm sure he is as well. I can tell he is not up to going hiking but then again he doesn't normally hike so that isn't a problem...lol. He may not admit it but he is weaker and gets winded pretty easily. He is getting lots of rest and each day he seems just a bit better. This first week after chemo has been enlightening and fairly uneventful, hopefully it is a harbinger of things to come. I realize, however, that chemo is cumulative  and therefore, things will be in a state of flux but I am praying for his sake, that the next chemo will not be any harder on him than it was this time. That is in God's hands and since his hands have crafted all of creation there is no better place to be.

As I understand it he will start feeling most like himself just about the time he is scheduled for his next treatment. That doesn't seem fair somehow, but cancer is a monster, which is by definition frightening and cruel and no where in its meaning is the word fair. We aren't going to play fair either, this monster is going down. Keep us in your prayers as we fight this foe. 

There are other battles being waged against us but by comparison they are mere skirmishes. I would like to hide in the trenches, to avoid the enemies altogether but I know there is no escaping these invaders. They seek to unsettle and destroy our peace of mind and I admit I am an easier target than Keith, more given to waving the white flag, but because God gave me this man I will not surrender. He carries me through this field, crawling with adversaries, and encourages me to be strong and remember who is in control. My husband is a very special man, a soldier for God, and a man of courage. I may shed a few buckets of tears across this battlefield but NO white flags will be waving anytime soon.