December 29, 2011
There appears to be a pattern to the days following chemo. The first four days after chemo Keith does very well, the fifth day through the ninth day he hardly gets out of bed, because his blood levels are at their lowest, but then on the tenth day he starts to rebound and continues gaining strength each day leading up to his next infusion. That means there will be ten or eleven days where he will feel fairly well before he gets the next chemo. Add to that the four days following the treatment when he feels normal and it totals fifteen or sixteen days out of each month when he will be able to participate in life. This first round was very rough, because neither of us knew what to expect, but now that we have some idea of what may occur, hopefully, we will be able to cope better with the next round. However, nothing about cancer is guaranteed. January third he goes for his second infusion of chemotherapy and then we will see if this round follows the pattern.
It started coming out about a week ago and with each day the pace picked up until there was no longer any reason to keep what remained on his head. He was fighting a battle he couldn't win and when it becomes necessary to follow your sweetie around with a vacuum cleaner it is time to get out the clippers. His beautiful, soft, white hair is now contained within the Hoover bag less upright. The hair remaining, on his head, is very short, fuzzy and soft. After forty five years of seeing him with a full head of hair, seeing him practically bald, isn't as odd as I would have expected. He's still my sweetie and I just want him to be cured of this cancer so we can get back to the business of living without this Spector hanging over us.
With everything going on in our lives this will prove to be a trying beginning to the new year but with God close by we will come out on the other side ready to resume our lives. I am convinced there are dark forces at work seeking to destroy my relationship with God by throwing one problem after another in my path in hopes that I will turn away from the Lord. I am trusting in him to protect me and keep me from destruction. There are times I want to run away from some of the issues, they are just too painful, but I will stay the course knowing God is at the helm. There will be times I will scream or cry at the injustice yet still I will praise God for giving me the strength to deal with whatever comes my way. I'll not give in to the evil one, I am a cool weather girl and his abode is way too hot for me.
Fuel To The Fire
Satan gets pleasure when he causes pain.
His motives are hateful and only for gain.
To keep you from God, his greatest desire.
One less for God's kingdom one more for the fire.
He'll feed you deception by filling your head
with thoughts of self doubt, lies, fear and dread.
His mission is clearly to get you alone,
away from God's children, to his hellish zone.
For once he's convinced you that you are no good,
he's kept you from God and added more wood.