You know the drill, your life is going along peacefully, no troubles, no worries and because everything seems perfect you start to wonder when the bottom is going to drop out. We all go through trials, which mess up our perfect plans for our lives. Life is all about getting through them, and learning from them, without losing focus on what is truly important, God and His plan:
1 You have searched me, LORD,
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you, LORD, know it completely.
5 You hem me in behind and before,
and you lay your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
For most of my life I believed happiness was the norm while trials were the exception. WRONG! It took many years and many trials to open my eyes to the truth. I used to go about my life as if happiness was my right and therefore, when something devastated me, I got all bent out of shape and angry at God. How could He do this to me? What did I do to deserve such misery? Why me? Wah, wah, wah! Then I came to the revelation, 'why not me'? What was so special about me that I shouldn't have problems? God created me, He knows me and the plan He has for me. Who am I to question God?
Over the years I've been through many trials, (who hasn't) some easily worked out, some took me to the brink of insanity but I am here today because God never let go of me. I am thankful for His wonderful mercy and Grace, which I do not deserve, but which is freely given.
The past twenty one months, Keith and I, have been given quite a few trials. My mom, who lives with us, was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She is a frail 86 year old who, at times, thinks she can take care of herself. There is no way she could ever live on her own. Her care defaults to us because she has lived with us 7 years. That is the viewpoint of some of my siblings and it is frustrating. Throughout her time with us there have been ups and downs but we've managed to give her a better quality of life then she would have received in a nursing home.
During the summer of 2011 Keith started suffering lower back pain, which limited his ability to walk and he grew progressively weaker by the day. One Sunday morning when he got out of the car he couldn't walk and fell flat on the macadam on a church parking lot. There would be no more waiting for his appointment to get here, I was taking him to the emergency room whether he liked it or not. He did not put up a fight, which told me he too realized the time for action had come. After a series of tests it was determined that he needed surgery, a tumor on his spine didn't look good. After eight hours in surgery I was informed that Keith had aggressive lymphoma. Sitting there in the empty waiting room I cried like a baby. Initially I thought, what am I going to do if this takes his life? We've been together forty five years and I'm not ready to be without him. Then I pulled myself together and prayed for God to be with us and a sense of peace enveloped me. From that moment forward, I knew, where Keith was concerned, that it was going to be alright.
I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
1 Peter 1:6
In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials.
6 Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”
I have been amazed at the difference in my perspective since I gave it all to God and decided to trust Him. These trials are not over but I am confident I will not travel this road alone. When a worrisome thought enters my head I immediately give it to God, entrusting him with my problems. I no longer let myself dwell on the things that could otherwise destroy my physical and emotional health. These latest trials truly have shown me that having faith and trusting God are the only way to get through this life with my mind and soul in tact. I have burdens, like everyone, but mine are being carried by the LORD and that is an answer to my prayers. Praise God, He is my source of strength. Trusting God is amazing, absolutely amazing!